Planning a wedding is fun, stressful, revealing, humbling and a test of the partnership that will blossom from the big day forward.

Parents, siblings, great-aunts, friends, venue operators, wedding planners, co-workers — it seems like everyone has advice for how to plan your wedding. Let’s add one more to the mix — neighbors. We asked some of our Addison County neighbors to share some memories about their wedding. The hope is that future brides and grooms will get a useful tip for their wedding planning, and that the memory will expand their thinking on what a wedding day can be.

Good luck in your wedding planning!

JEN KRAVITZ AND ERIK REMSEN

Jen Kravitz & Erik Remsen

Middlebury

September 13, 2008

Our memory:

Erik and I got married at my parents’ house and the reception was where I spent all my time growing up. One of my favorite memories was walking from where we had the wedding to the reception with family and friends. Another favorite memory was watching my parents and Erik’s parents dancing later in the night and the joy and love on their faces and how grateful I was to have them as role models for what loving, strong, respectful, and joyful partnerships are.

A piece of wedding planning advice:

HEIDI SULLIS AND RON HALLMAN

Plan for comfortable shoes you want to dance in so you can enjoy it – and get some flip flops for your guests so they can have comfortable shoes for dancing. We got a lot of different colors and sizes and just left them out for people to grab as they needed something comfy.

Heidi Sulis & Ron Hallman

Middlebury

August 16, 1986

Our memory:

It poured rain all day! But it didn’t impact our day or celebration (and I think I read somewhere that wedding day rain is “good luck”?).

A piece of wedding planning advice:

Focus on your personal values and needs and keep them at the center when planning your wedding — and keep it simple (don’t spend your life savings on your wedding)!

FAITH AND ERICK GONG

Faith & Erick Gong

Middlebury

July 20, 2002

Our memory:

The most memorable part of our wedding was walking down the aisle of the church and seeing all of the people who had gathered from across the country to celebrate this moment with us. They represented so many aspects of our lives: family, friends from various stages, co-workers. And for this one day they were all together in one place because Erick and I loved each other and they loved us. It was overwhelming! I just floated through the ceremony, buoyed up by the joy of all that love!

A piece of wedding planning advice:

Look at the wedding planning process as an opportunity to practice a skill you’ll have to use throughout your marriage: listening respectfully to the many opinions of people who care about you, but ultimately making the decisions that best reflect the two of you. And don’t sweat the small stuff, by which I mean flowers, decorations, food, etc. To paraphrase Maya Angelou: People will forget your centerpieces, but people will never forget how your overflowing love made them feel.

SALLY AND RICK KERSCHNER

Sally & Rick Kerschner

Ferrisburgh

July 5, 1975

Our memory:

This year we will celebrate our 50th anniversary.

We still agree that it was a perfect wedding celebration. It was very home-grown. Sally’s Dad was a minister so he performed the ceremony in the historic church that was founded in 1711. Sally’s brother is an organist and provided the music, including his adaptation for organ of Aaron Copland’s “Fanfare for the Common Man” as the processional. A family friend was the photographer. The Church Ladies did the reception.

Since the Bride was preoccupied with studying for her nursing licensure exams, the bridesmaids sewed their dresses and the wedding gown. Rick wore his Army dress blues.

A piece of wedding planning advice:

The involvement of friends and family made the event very meaningful and personal. Rick and Sally urge couples who are planning a wedding to involve all friends and family in the event and to avoid the expectations of involving the expensive wedding industry. Find sites and services that are local in Vermont and that keep the budget affordable and the celebration memorable.

Jane & John Spencer

Addison

Oct. 13, 1973

Our memories:

Jane: What I Wore

We had decided on a small October wedding with just immediate family and a few friends. We planned a simple ceremony in a church in the town in Pennsylvania where I grew up, followed by a catered luncheon at my parents’ house. I didn’t want to wear a traditional white wedding dress, but I wanted to wear something special and unique. I settled on a tweed suit that I found at The Mayfair, my then favorite women’s clothing store on Church Street in Burlington.

The suit was French, which I thought was very special, and it was beautifully tailored with a luxurious crimson silk lining. Woven into the chestnut and cream tweed were subtle threads of yellow, purple, blue, orange, green and red. I loved that the fabric contained every color of the rainbow and thought it expressed a wish for our life together to be full of color and a varied array of interesting experiences. More than fifty years later, that has been proven to be true, so the suit had it right!

John: Nervous

JANE AND JOHN SPENCER

As a young man on the day of my wedding I was nervous. My best man and I were standing outside of the church, me checking my watch and waiting for the minister to call us in to get situated at the altar. I paced the garden in back of the church to ease my anxiety as the hour to begin the ceremony came and went, and no bride arrived.

For the next 30 minutes, I walked back and forth about a hundred times, wearing a path in the grass and wondering if she had stood me up. I thought about the things in my life that might possibly be turned upside down and wondered how I would weather the storm.

Finally the minister called us into the church. I brought my anxiety with me but my worries dissolved when I saw my bride walking down the aisle toward me.

There were no cell phones then, of course, so she couldn’t have called to let me know she would be late. Her maid of honor had been in an accident; she was OK, but wouldn’t be able to make it to the ceremony and this is what had held her up. Jane whispered this explanation to me as best she could when she arrived at the altar.

By the way, she still often keeps me waiting. I’ve had a lot of practice over the years, and have become a very patient man.

A piece of wedding planning advice:

Advice from Jane

Choose vows that are meaningful to you and, even if it’s difficult because you are nervous, do your best to connect with what you are saying during the ceremony. You don’t have to compose the vows, but what you say should reflect your true sentiment. A little planning and reflection beforehand can go a long way. We went with the usual vows that the minister provided (minus the word “obey,” which was standard at that time) and they have served us well, but more thought would have provided a richer and more personal experience.

Advice from John

We had a very small wedding with just a few friends and family to keep it simple. I would advise keeping it simple but bringing together as many of your friends as you want to share the occasion with you. I would not get hung up on details but concentrate on having a celebration of the occasion. Do something that you would enjoy doing with all your guests.

KRISTIN BOLTON AND ANDREW MUNKRES

Kristin Bolton & Andrew Munkres

Cornwall

Nov. 25, 2000

A piece of wedding planning advice:

Seven years after we first met in St. Paul, Minn., we had planned what is now called a destination wedding over Thanksgiving weekend to be at a Nordic ski resort in northern Minnesota, where we had enjoyed long weekends with our music and dance community. The wooden center had burned down after an electrical fire over the previous winter, but the owner told us it would be ready for the big weekend in November.

A friend working on the crew in the fall suggested that we check in with the owner on the progress, who assured us everything was on track, but when my cousin told me to look at the website in mid-October, we saw only knee high concrete walls. We scrambled to find an alternate location, and our friends suggested YMCA Camp du Nord in Ely, Minn., which could host us for the weekend. We called it, “The Wedding at the End of the World!”

Our advice, listen to your friends and family!

Our memories:

Our wedding was a weekend long event of building community, with our families having Thanksgiving on Thursday, a hike and then a concert of friends playing on Friday, a women’s group followed by the wedding and a square dance on Saturday, and a farewell brunch and canoeing on Sunday. One of Andrew’s music friends with a beautiful tenor voice, during the final brunch, raised his voice in song to lead us spontaneously in the traditional song, “Bright Morning Stars,” and everyone joined in:

Bright morning stars are rising,

Bright morning stars are rising,

Bright morning stars are rising

Day is a breaking in my soul.

MARK AND JESSIE RAYMOND

Jessie & Mark Raymond

Middlebury

December 10, 1994

Our memory:

When Mark and I got married in December 1994, we were short on money but long on family and friends, and the Waybury Inn didn’t have room to seat all of our guests for dinner. We decided to pull a fast one: Our invitations said we were getting married privately and would join our guests afterward for an hors d’oeuvres reception at the inn — but in reality, we showed up and held a surprise ceremony right there.

The plan worked great, although we failed to anticipate one factor: The reception was in full swing by the time we arrived, and let’s just say there was a distinct celebratory atmosphere during our vows. Things only got merrier when our wonderful but nervous justice of the peace, Charlotte Birchmore — who probably didn’t perform too many weddings, especially not in the middle of a party, or with hecklers — accidentally pronounced us “man and husband.” The crowd loved it.

A piece of wedding planning advice:

If you are planning a big wedding and reception, try not to get sucked into the minutiae. Instead, focus on having a great time. Your guests aren’t going to remember what your table decor looked like, but they will remember if they had fun. (And I can confirm that the more sober ones will remember if the JP pronounces you “man and husband.”)

FARHAD AND AMTUL KHAN

Amtul & Farhad Khan

Middlebury

July 12, 2002

Our memory:

Ours was a classic arranged marriage. (We never knew or met each other before our wedding, except for a brief five minutes about a week before we married.) So, one special memory? Following our country’s traditions, the first time after our Imam (Priest) performed the wedding, and we exchanged our “I Do’s,” we got to see each other. The anticipation, the surprise, the anxiety, the stress, before seeing each other? you name it.

A piece of wedding planning advice:

Keep it simple (ours was lavishly overdone). Don’t get married on one of the hottest days of the year 😓😓. Get to know each other a little more than we did.