ALL PEOPLE EXPERIENCE some cognitive loss as they age. Harpist Margie Bekoff has seen how music, with its mysterious effects on the human brain, can help restore some memories and calm people’s agitation.
Independent photo/Caroline Jiao

ADDISON COUNTY — As people age, we can see our bodies lose their youthful resilience. What is a little more difficult to reconcile, sometimes, is when our minds become a little less nimble.

Some cases of memory loss are serious. Up to 13,000 Vermonters have Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. More than 20,000 family members, friends and healthcare professionals are providing care for them. 

But other cognitive changes that we see as we age are less daunting, but still important to recognize.

“Everyone’s worried about their memory,” said Kristin Bolton, executive director of Elderly Service Inc. in Middlebury. “The portrait of aging is so unlike children growing; there’s all these milestones. But for growing old there are no milestones. Some people have strokes when they’re in their 50s and are very disabled by those, and other people are running marathons when they’re 80. There’s no playbook, no right or wrong.” 

So what are the ways that older people and their families can address the cognitive changes that come with aging?

Margie Bekoff, 73, a certified therapeutic harp practitioner, understands the potential of music with its mysterious effects on the human brain. 

“Music is stored all over the brain. It’s not only tied to our intellect but also our emotions,” she said.

As a harpist, she has witnessed first-hand the magic that music has on many people, including her parents. 

She remembers a Passover dinner when the family sang songs together, and her mother, whose voice hadn’t been heard for years due to her cognitive loss, suddenly started singing along, in pitch, all lyrics in Hebrew. 

“We were all in tears,” Beckoff recalled. 

She has come to understand that music not only helps with reviving people’s memory but also has a calming effect on agitation. That came home to her a little later when Beckoff’s mother was in hospice care.

“My father was all pacing and breathing heavily,” she remembers. “My mother was at the end of her life. We somehow found a harp at the hospice, so I started playing. By the end of my playing, my father said to me, ‘If there’s any way you can do that to other people, I want to help you.’”

These experiences directly inspired Beckoff to her current career working with the Helen Porter Nursing Home and Porter Hospital providing palliative support. 

Bekoff’s friend Priscilla Baker, a former mental health counselor and expressive arts therapist, is also aware of the incredible power of music to the human brain. 

“What is documented is that singing with someone with dementia, they’ll know every lyric to the song,” said Baker, who volunteers for the Wellspring singing group, whose mission is to sing for people at their end of life.

Ron Hallman, the coordinator of communications and development at Elderly Services, is moved whenever he sees the power of music. 

“During sing-along events, we’ve seen people who have dementia all of a sudden mouthing words from the song from 50 years ago,” he said. “They may be having their heads down and eyes closed, but their lips start moving. It just goes to show the power of music is really profound.”

This points out another hard thing about aging: people lose some of their independence with the loss of physical abilities and memory. 

At Elderly Services, they keep engaged with their aging bodies and through physical activity and through social activity. Creating in a tight-knit community where everyone feels cared for is essential to combating loneliness, another factor that correlates to memory loss. 

“We know loneliness has really detrimental effects on health, both mental and physical,” Bolton said. “So bringing people together in a community setting can help people stay as functional as possible, whatever physical or cognitive status they’re at.”

The center recently got a grant from the Vermont Prevention Lead Organization, the goal of which is to address a substance abuse issue with older adults.

“The goal that group had for the grant was to create social connections, and that’s all we do,” Bolton said.

One way of building community is to have fun together. At Project Independence, there are structured activities throughout the day to keep the elders engaged. 

“I think the power of friendship and community is really healing for people,” Bolton said. “I also think we’ve designed a place that’s beautiful, so it can be calming to people if they experience any anxiety. There’s a lot of fun things to do and a lot of distractions.”

When asked for advice to give about aging, people offer different perspectives.

“Physical activity is always good,” Baker said. “It keeps the mind stimulated, and it’s helpful for creativity. Another helpful thing is nature. Even just sitting on a park bench listening to the birds, or going for a walk, going to bodies of water, absorbing the vibrations, if you will, of the natural world.”

“I think the important thing is to own it and learn more about it,” Bekoff said. “There used to be a lot of stigmas around old age, but now I’m happy to see there’s less of that, and people do well with what they can. It’s the joie de vivre, or joy of life!”

Elders like Baker, who is in her 70s, find a sense of fulfillment by immersing themselves in volunteer work. 

“Starting in my 40s, I started imagining retirement, and I would spend my time volunteering. That’s something I’ve always valued,” Baker said. “I also really believe strongly that people, especially when they age, they need to step aside for younger people to carry the torch.”

One of the things Baker started doing right before retirement was becoming a tour guide at Ferrisburgh’s Rokeby Museum. That opened the door to history for her. 

“I started reading books and going to online lectures. So that’s a personal way that I stretch my mind,” she said.

SEEING LIMITATIONS

While appreciating the many possibilities that come with age, Bolton recognizes the limitations that many still face.

“What’s challenging for people is their own perceptions of their failing bodies,” she said. “So we try to create a lot of focus on what’s positive about aging, that would be the capacity to love and forgive, the wisdom that comes from experience, the ability to focus on other people and support them.”

Bolton has always had a positive association with being with older people. Her mother was a social worker, and as a child Bolton would go around with her mom to nursing homes.

“I’ve realized the challenge is aging gracefully, how do we accept the losses of our bodies, how do we try to keep as healthy as possible, how do we take good care of our brains,” she said. 

People working with seniors are especially aware of the many incredible lessons time has to offer. 

“I think a lot of people, myself included, are worried about memory loss,” Bolton acknowledged. “But also it’s humbling to be around people who are very wise and focused on their energy and communication. It’s good to have models on aging that are positive as well, and I feel that the media doesn’t portray that enough, so I feel privileged to be around people who I admire so much.”

“These human beings, despite their physical limitations and even the cognitive loss, they’re wonderful people, very loving people. I feel like in the end that’s what matters, to be a loving person, that’s the endgame.”

Baker puts it more simply:

“I just want to live each day to the fullest.”