Jessie Raymond: Aspiring house hen expands her range

I knew our hen Monique was different from other birds. But if you had told me when we got her two years ago that she would one day start coming into the house every morning to lay an egg, I would have laughed and said, “Yeah, right. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jessie Raymond: Path of totality calls for formality

As you know, we have one coming up Monday, and I want to be dressed appropriately.

Jessie Raymond: Self-taught pruner makes the cut — barely

Last week, I spent an afternoon pruning one of our three old apple trees. You probably didn’t know I could do stuff like that, but that’s OK; until last week I didn’t know it either.

Jessie Raymond: Sometimes nature really stinks

It was no coincidence that, one pre-dawn morning last week, Mark and I were having almost identical dreams. In them, we were running around warning people that the noxious gas they were smelling was flammable, and that if anyone lit a match, their house w … (read more)

Jessie Raymond: You don’t know me; let’s talk

I was standing in the bulk spice section of the co-op the other day, scooping a portion of dried thyme leaf into a little bag, when I noticed another shopper at my elbow. As I started to put the thyme jar away, she said, “You can leave that out. I need so … (read more)

Jessie Raymond: Flat feelings on Stanley cup craze

These days, everybody wants a Stanley cup. When I first heard that, I thought, “Well, if they want it bad enough, they’ll learn to play some damn good hockey.” 

Jessie Raymond: Never look a gift sheep in the mouth

Gift etiquette can be complicated. It’s hard to know how much to spend on a coworker’s shower gift, what to get for the person who has everything or how long you have to keep an ugly knickknack on display before you can throw it away and tell the giver yo … (read more)

Jessie Raymond: An AI humor column? Not yet

I’ve heard that someday, on its unstoppable and accelerating march to becoming sentient and subjugating humanity, artificial intelligence (AI) is going to put writers out of work.

Jessie Raymond: Finally, a Christmas surprise?

“Create a diversion!” I never imagined saying that in real life. I don’t think the UPS driver knew what to make of it either. 

Jessie Raymond: Forgotten date turns memorable

Mark and I celebrated our 29th anniversary this past weekend. Things did not go the way I had planned.

Jessie Raymond: Thanksgiving prep takes its toll

Regardless of the day, I was always going to treat this as the biggest meal of the year; that’s the whole point of Thanksgiving. There are no Thanksgiving carols, no hiding of Thanksgiving eggs. Nobody sets off Thanksgiving fireworks in their backyard. A … (read more)

Jessie Raymond: Cool story leads to crushing end

A decade ago, I got rejected by the producers of “This American Life.” I’m still not over it.

Jessie Raymond: Miss Fidget meets posture issues

When I was a kid, my mother sometimes called me “Tabitha Twitchit,” less for my resemblance to the Beatrix Potter character and more for my inability to stay still when I was bored.

Jessie Raymond: Diving deeply into compost(ing)

I’ve recently dipped my toe — not entirely metaphorically — into compost. I don’t know much about composting yet, but I plan to be unbearable on the subject in no time.

Jessie Raymond: It’s my transport, not my identity

You know the kind of person who takes great pride in the car they drive and spends all kinds of time and money accessorizing and maintaining it? I am not that kind of person.