Dear Ms. Brush,
May I be the first (male!) to re-welcome you to the state of Vermont. Regarding your comments in the Addy Indy printed in Monday’s edition “Here’s how to offer help — for the right reasons,” I take umbrage at your comment “was he offering me help because I was in a wheelchair or because I was a young female?” Let me enlighten you. The (50s) year old man you write about did not assume your weakness; in fact he wanted to be sure he was not invading your possible need, much less the fact that you are a female. He stated that “I don’t want to be presumptive, but just want to be sure.”
That sounds a lot like a Vermonter: Offering help because that’s what we do.
We don’t ask, “Wait, are you LGBTQ?”
I also want to note that you contradict yourself. In one sentence you state: “I once dropped my phone and it slid under my car where I couldn’t reach it … there are times when help is greatly appreciated.” Then you state: “… it is much easier to accept help when it is offered than it is to ask for help.”
Of course that same man would have offered if (you) were a guy, in a chair. Reversed sexism?
We are not mind readers, Ms. Brush. We Vermonters are not going to think “should I or should I not offer help?” I take great pride in offering anybody assistance if I think they might need assistance.
I drive a very rough and rocky road at the end of my day. If I see any vehicle parked on the side of the road I roll down my window and ask “you all Ok?” I don’t think twice about gender or sexual orientation. A person is a person.
I appreciate your point of view. In closing, however, I think you should take heed of your own advice to readers: Just catch yourself before making any gender stereotypes, those are off limits.
Kenneth Paul Levine
“An 81-year-old gentleman” Ripton