Letter to the Editor: Tweet your way to happiness

Tweeting from my tower of Babble
Enlightening the dissidents and opposition rabble
To liberate my body and mind
I tweet on topics of every kind.
When I was a mere lad I heard the following pronouncement of wisdom, from a dear old Irish lady neighbor, which continues to this day to profoundly influence and shape my everyday life.
Tweedeli deedeli dee, Tweedeli deedeli dot
Looks good or bad it matters not
As long as you tweedle the bad away every day
Things always turn out to go your way.
I was also inspired to accept as my personal saint, Saint Narcissus, the patron saint of humility. Paraphrasing scripture, in these trials and tribulations, a tweet shall set you free. I would like to address/tweet certain current distortions of the political climate. And you know of course that I am not in favor of climate change. First, the opposition is trying to turn the Rose Garden into a fruit orchard, with talk about impeachment, “impearment” and fruitlessness.
Secondly, regarding the grossly exaggerated talk and estimate of the current epidemic of the Post (Trump) Tweet Stress Disorder (PTSD). I would put the number at no more than 5 million.
Let’s face it, truth is a matter of opinion, and it’s all relative. Unless it comes from a relative it’s not relevant. I want to go on record that I subscribe almost every day to our founding — or is it confounding — principles. Advise and consent. The will of the people. Equal opportunity. Taxation without bloviation. When I advise my team, they will consent.
By just tweeting executive edicts I have established a tweedictatorship which truly represents the will of the people — my people. And believe me, when I tweet, my people will do as I tweet.
From time to time, to untangle a complex multiple tweet congestion and to prevent jumping to confusions, I voluntarily take Presidential floss or mental floss.
When in doubt, tweet it out.
Finally, we have graduated from a boring Mediocracy run by the media and boring, er, I mean, hardworking middle class to a Billocracy, where billionaires who have the physical proof of their skills and achievements, no longer advise and consult, but rather, finally run the show.
So remember: when in doubt, tweet it out.
A little nudge, a little fudge and, as always, a little tweet and all is well.
A tweet a day keeps the Doctor away.
Signing off from the tower of Babble.
This letter by someone high up in the government — very high up, was submitted by
Rustan Swenson

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